| Even a broken clock gives the right time twice a day.
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| You know I've smoked a lot of grass
Oh lord, I've popped a lot of pills
But I never touched nothing..
that my spirit couldn't kill.
You know, I've seen a lot of people walking 'round
with tombstones in their eyes
But the pusher don't care
Ah, if you live or if you die.
Isn't it funny how preachers like to start off a sermon with a particular verse? Well let me preach to you.. not of what is true, but what I believe.
There is no such thing as absolute truth. Period. There is only the path that leads you in the most conducive way. I believe in satanism.. not in satan.. but in.. "hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head." I think too many people lose sight of what the real object in life is.. to be happy. Life isn't about pleasing other people its about your own happiness. If pleasing other people is what makes you happy then so be it but this isn't always the case and this shouldn't always be the priority. That being said, a certain amount of devotion forwarded outside the 'self' is certainly ideal. Preoccupation with the ego doesn't lead anywhere but despair. Buddhism teaches that the source of all human suffering is desire. What do you desire? Will it ultimately help you in your life or will it only lead to more desires? Does desire ever achieve anything? So you get rich, now what do you want? More materialistic items, more cheap thrills and, more money.
I do not believe in a tangible universe. I do not believe in any underlying reality outside of our perceptions that govern the true basis of everything. There is no such thing as anything constant or immutable. Everything you perceive around you is a construct of your mind so why do you take such things to be 'real?' The human brain is a very limited filter and thusly limits it's perceptible universe to such means that it can comprehend. "Reality" is only 'real' to you so how 'real' can it be?
I believe everything is connected. When you break everything down to its core components they are made up of energy. All mater and everything you perceive around you are derived from different forms of energy. Energy is the ultimate force of the universe. Energy flowing from one point to another can change forms several times along the way before it reaches it's final destination. Energy doesn't stop for anything. It never ends. Energy is either constantly moving or converted into mass (which itself is constantly moving on a micro scale, only at a slower pace). Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared (E=MC²). For some reason hardly any body understands the true meaning of this amazing equation. To put it dully and to fit my current disposition it means that our bodies and everything around us are made up of nothing more than energy. So if we've learned that energy can be transmuted into solid matter then what makes it so hard to believe that solid matter can become energy? Energy can travel as both particles or waves depending on the circumstances observing them. Every step you take in life you are bombarded with a multitude of different types of waves and energies that flow through not only our atmosphere but our entire universe. It is flowing through you and around you whether you realize it or not. The very same molecules that were expelled in the breath of Socrates, Alexander the Great, Napoleon, and even Neils Bohr are flowing through your body this very instant. Modern science is shying away from the idea of a high consciousness or soul but what is it giving to replace it? I believe the human mind is much too powerful to cease existence once death occurs. If everything is energy then how would that even be possible? It would have to travel onward..
I believe there are many great questions out there but a very limited amount of answers. There are some questions in life who's answers will ultimately gain you nothing and therefor it is more pertinent to devote yourself to those which do. Understanding the workings of the universe may feed your intellect but in the end does it make you a better person or improve the lives of those around you in any way? I believe there is no such thing as "right" or "wrong." There is only what works to the advantage of one person and to the disadvantage of another. This ultimately doesn't solve anything but the desires of the advantageous. Fulfilling desire only leads to more desire. Satisfaction leads to contentment which leads to more desire.
Planning things develop boundaries around things. Be free. Do not be 'American' free. Be 'You' free...
..more to come.. next time I get drunk..
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| Last night was phenomenal. I've been waiting for that experience since I was like 14 and it was better than I ever could have imagined. Next time I just need to remember not to dose so early.
I wish I would've seen you there though. It's been quite a while hasn't it?
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| So whats going on now? Whats to be done?
Who knows? Who cares?
I have one certainty, however veiled it may be, I have it. I guess I'll take it as far as it takes me and just make sure I'm prepared to hang up the phone once the message is received.
And I have one primary objective. It will probably be the hardest and longest of any but by far the most redeeming. Everything will change.. everything will have to change. But how do I go about it? I'm going to have to devote to this a lot more. This environment is not conducive.
I can't wait for Echo Project. That is the world to which I belong. I'll join the festy circuit one day.. for now I think I'll go commence my morning ritual; get high and work on my notebook. At least my handwriting is getting better.
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| I had a dream this morning that made me wake up rather happy. Have our minds evolved just to disappoint us? Oh well.. it was great while it lasted.
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